Zombie George Washington: Library Fees

"Library Fees" is the first episode of ZGW.



Plot
Zombie George Washington forgets to return his books on November 2, 1789, so he eats the librarian's brain.

Transcript
(title screen)

Librarian: Can I help you?

Zombie George Washington: RAAAHHH! I have library books to return!

Librarian: And your name?

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington!

Librarian: Yeah, okay, I'm afraid there's gonna be a late fee on these.

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington HATES LATE FEES! (the screen zooms in) How much is it?

Librarian: Well, it says here these books were due back on November 2nd, 1789, so let's see. (typing noises) The fees add up to $4,577.

Zombie George Washington: What?! Zombie George Washington don't have that kind of money!

Librarian: But, adjusted for inflation, it looks like you owe us a little over, oh, $300,000.

Zombie George Washington: Ooh! (farts)

Librarian: Sir, are you alright?

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington just shit his pants.

Librarian: Look, how would you like to pay for this, sir, cash or charge?

Zombie George Washington: Um, Zombie George Washington wants to know if you take BRAINS as payment?

Librarian: No, sir, I'm sorry, we don't take brains.

Zombie George Washington: That's too bad, because I DO!

(Zombie George Washington eats the librarian's brain)

Librarian: (screaming)

Zombie George Washington: (munching sounds) See you next time, kids!